I ate breakfast but forgot and ate a second breakfast. Was it lunch? #deepthoughts
April 1, 10:35pm
The great thing about having a persistent whisker that u forget to pluck is that u can stroke it with tremendous gravitas.
April 1, 5:59pm
RT @EndlessMike03: I may be immortal. There's still a chance.
April 1, 11:49am
It's all about that bass, but it's also partially all about #Viagra.
March 31, 11:01pm
RT @thejoemoses: Is it still #MarchMadness in April? Here’s a funny one from #JMOMS alum @jd_durkadurka & @EmmaTattenbaum
March 31, 7:33pm
The headlines may change, but #MetroNY will always feature pictures of varicose veins.
March 31, 5:01pm
RT @AshiLabouisse: BYOB. Bring Your Own Book. Everywhere. You never know when you might read it. #amreading
March 31, 4:08pm
I have a need for praise that might just get me killed someday. 👯🔪
March 31, 12:18pm
RT @meganamram: Every truck is a food truck if you're a cannibal
March 31, 12:57am
RT @ScottRogowsky: Cedric the Infotainer
March 30, 10:16pm
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